By Susan Cooper
Hi, it’s Susan here. Usually when Dimity and I sit down to chat, the kids get the blame for most of the chaos in our lives. Not this time.
In our latest Bright Star Kids Parenting Podcast episode, we owned up to 10 of our most embarrassing moments, from awkward encounters and public mishaps to hilarious situations we’d rather forget. A few of these still make me want to crawl under a rock.
So pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy laughing at us. We certainly did.
10. Awkward Greetings Gone Wrong
I’m terrible at faces, so when someone waves at me, I wave back. I’d hate to be rude!
They’re smiling, they’re walking towards me, I’m smiling back… and then they walk straight past me to the person behind. Oh my god.
Dimity’s husband has a huge family, so she’s always meeting cousins and aunties.
She goes in for a hug, they go in for a kiss on the cheek, and suddenly her face is smooshed into someone’s neck. We’ve all done that awkward little dance.
9. Embarrassing Conversation Disasters
I’m half deaf in one ear these days. If someone mumbles or talks quietly, I’ll ask them to repeat themselves once, twice… and by the third time I just smile and mirror whatever face they’re pulling.
Looking sad? “Oh, okay.” Looking happy? “Oh, okay!” I live in fear that one day they’ll have just told me someone died.
Dimity topped me, though. At 13, with bad period pain, she went to the doctor with her mum.
She couldn’t quite understand him, so she just said “yes” to his question. Twice. Her mum’s face dropped: “What do you mean you need contraception?”
8. Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Years ago, I took my son Jamie, who was about four or five, to see a cute kids movie.
We were running late, so we crept up to the very back in the dark, and I politely told the man in our seats he was in the wrong spot.
He checked my ticket and said, “You’re in the wrong cinema.” Then I had to make the walk of shame back down the aisle only to see a really inappropriate scene from a Jackass movie in front of my little kiddo. Mortified!!
These days I double-check which cinema I’m walking into. Every single time.
7. Embarrassing Falls in Public
Falling over is always embarrassing, but Dimity’s story broke my heart a little.
She was heavily pregnant when she slipped on a spilled drink. People just sat there eating their lunch and staring.
Eventually, a lovely older woman helped her up and called security. She ended up in tears, and honestly, who wouldn’t?
Mine was at my sister’s wedding.
I was a bridesmaid in a dress that was a touch too long, and up at the altar I tripped and went down on my knees onto the marble, in front of the whole congregation.
I did hold onto my bouquet, so I’m counting that as a win. Thank goodness nobody was filming on their phones back then.
6. Embarrassing Social Media Mishaps
At uni, Dimity screenshotted a message to send a friend for a laugh, and accidentally sent it straight back to the person who wrote it. Oops!
Mine involves my husband Nigel, who is not the best with technology. My brother had a new girlfriend, so naturally I was having a little look at her on Facebook and showed Nigel.
He clicked “Add friend”. They’d only been out three or four times! Luckily she accepted, and she’s now my sister-in-law.
5. The Great Escape
I really, really don’t like bones.
A lovely friend of Nigel’s once served us pea and ham soup, and there were bones floating in my bowl. It made my stomach flip, but I had to be polite!
I took the tiniest spoonfuls and said I was full. Nigel ate the whole bowl, and she thought he loved it so she ended up giving him a second bowl.
Dimity, freshly postpartum with baby Poppy in the pram, signed up for a $30 charity donation in a shopping centre without realising it was monthly.
I, on the other hand, have had about 17 more years of practice. Back in Dublin I could spot a clipboard from a mile off and would drag poor Nigel all over the street to dodge them.
4. Embarrassing Supermarket Slip-Ups
Just recently, I reached for a Mexican meal kit, not realising someone had left a glass jar of crushed garlic right in front of it. Smash! The smell was unbelievable, and it was on my shoe too.
Then in the yoghurt aisle, one of the tubs popped and went everywhere. That was it. No kids to blame, so I just left.
I was convinced they’d put my photo up and ban me if I stayed a minute more.
Dimity’s version involved a split carton of Pepsi Max, cans rolling under the shelves, and a staff member watching with his arms crossed.
3. Embarrassing Dating Moments
On one of Dimity’s first teenage dates, she came back from the toilet during the movie with her skirt tucked into her undies.
Mine was dinner with a guy I really fancied. At the end of the night I found spinach all over my teeth. I’d been smiling the whole night.
Neither of us got a second date.
2. When Our Bodies Betray Us
Dimity went to a 30th dressed as Stuart Little, fawn pants and pipe cleaner tail included.
After two kids and a few drinks, her pelvic floor wasn’t cooperating on the dance floor, and in the toilet her tail dipped right in.
Then her husband cheerfully explained to the whole party why it was in the bin. He was in the dog house for a while.
1. Embarrassing Body Noises You Can’t Control
Dimity has office tummy rumbles that sound far too much like something else.
But I win this round. At Pilates, the long spine and short spine moves make my down-below let out a very loud noise. Not my bum. The other bit.
It’s a small class of about four people, and everybody heard it. Nobody said a word. And you repeat the move several times, so I spent each one silently begging, “Please, not again.”
We both also remembered grandparents who farted with every single step on the way to the toilet.
So ladies, do your pelvic floor exercises. Seriously.
Have Your Own Embarrassing Moment? Come and Hang Out With Us!
If you enjoyed a giggle at our expense, please watch the full Bright Star Kids Parenting Podcast episode on our YouTube channel so you can see us crying with laughter as we tell these stories.
You can also listen to the Bright Star Kids Parenting Podcast on your favourite podcast platform, perfect for the school run or folding the washing.
And leave us a comment with your own funny or embarrassing moments. We’d love to hear them, and you might even end up in our next episode!
Until next time,
